Garden Antiques For Sale

So say you were kidnapped...?

So say you were kidnapped... by pirates, and they took you to their hideout. (As pirates often do.) But then The large fluffalopagous decided he'd build a nest atop the captain's shoulder.
Being presented with such an opportunity as to obtain the rare and mustical fluffle-egg-of-supreme-power you might want to stay behind.
But also the captain and the rest of his men are occupied, the keys to your cell just a few feet away. It would be easy with some telekinesis...
You look around the room and see not much else but a cupboard close to the cell, a few stuffed parrots mounted to the walls, a lovely pin-up of Eddie Murphey, and rare assortments of stolen booty scattered about, almost filling the rest of the room.
There are two guards including the captain, one tall and lanky with a scarlet mustache, the other tall and fat with purple eyes.

Shyt, I already told you to get a boat didn't I?

Okay you gotta call up Eddie Murphey and tell him to bust you out because hell he's already outside anyways then after he gets you out, get one of the parrots and wear as many as you can. One on each shoulder, one on your head, and cut off one of your hands and replace it with a parrot. Meanwhile Eddie should've already beaten up the guards.

After that, since you're running out of time, you hurriedly grab the scarlet mustache and wear it on your forehead.

Then you realize you have the power of flight, so you take a horse and fly with it.

And that is why unicorns were born.

Assortment of Vintage Keys $9.95 Time Remaining: 19h 56m

Antique Key Collection Old Vintage Clock Lock Box Skeleton Keys Assortment Lot $0.01 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 3d 5h 34m

VINTAGE KEYS X ASSORTMENT OF 20 $3.16 Time Remaining: 6d 18h 37m

ANTIQUE KEY COLLECTION ASSORTMENT OF 44 $40.00 (1 Bid) Time Remaining: 7d 3h 23m